We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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