Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
