So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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