kristin has been a bad kristin
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
