I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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