dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I skipped work to stalk him.
do herpes really smell.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
