Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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