can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
