Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Operation Purity has been aborted
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
