Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
