Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
where does the pee come out of this thing
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize