the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize