its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
