Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
