I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
