What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
