There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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