We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
