Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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