Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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