eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
