i would punch a child for taco bell
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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