Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
When are your genitals available?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
