Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
