Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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