After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He did a backflip because drugs
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
