Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
