Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
