i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
