Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize