Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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