he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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