She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
