Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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