I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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