He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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