im about as happy as oj after his trial
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
