The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
