I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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