honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
