Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
