Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
