Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Found the puke drawer
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
