dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
