my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
