Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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