What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
