He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
