i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
