apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
