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Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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