why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize