I think im going to throw up on grandma
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize