Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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