U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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