You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
