Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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