am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
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Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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