In the future we'll all be gay
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
