Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
