I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize