YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
