The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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